Saturday, October 20, 2007

Waffle house waitress

So I'm not a major boundaries issue person, I mean I've given my fair share of hugs to strangers but sometimes there is a point where the line has just been crossed way too far!
The other day Casey, Emma and I decided we were going to try a new waffle house we had heard was pretty darn delicious. Upon entering we should have known to run away as fast as possible but we decided to be adventurous and see how many times we felt we needed to wash our hands while we were there to avoid contracting some strange disease via the vinyl seating. We were greeted by the hostess who had very big black hair and even bigger glued on eye lashes framed by an excessive amount of odd colored eyeshadow. And to top off her double take of appearance, she was wearing a short short short skirt/shorts with fish net stockings-very appropriate attire for her 50+ age group!
We sat down and scanned the restaurant to see if we could find anyone else in the place who didn't have false teeth or an ACDC tee shirt on one of their six runny nosed children. Finally our waitress came to the table! Preface-we were sitting in a booth, Casey was sitting on one side and I was on the other as far in as I could go-up against the wall-very far away from the edge of the table-really far away from where anyone could or should touch me. Well our waitress greeted us the looked at me. I watched her eyes widen and then in what seemed to be slow motion, reached clear across the table, almost sprawling her body across our already questionable table, and grabbed my great with child stomach. I'm not sure what my face looked like for I was in pure horror at what was happening but she then began rubbing my stomach, and asking questions like, "Is it a girl, when are you due..." Dumbfounded I answered her silly questions while Casey looked on in amazment at the tatooed armed, smokey voiced woman grooping his wife. After what seemed to be a never ending bad movie the moment ended, she got our order and left as if nothing had happened. Clearly speechless from our inconceivable experience there was nothing to do but laugh.
While I felt extremely violated by the inappropriate waffle house waitress it taught me an invaluable lession, when eating at questionable establishments sit near the edge of the table!


debra said...

I'm so glad you're funny because you make me laugh lotses and lotses! That is the best story ever!

Yay for blogging, but I don't care what you say--- we're gonna be friends at least once a month. We can "blog-stalk" each other the rest of the time.

Love you crazy lady!

Chandi said...

Hi Cali this is Chandi. You know Casey's cousin. Of course you remember me. How could you forget? I am so happy to see that you have a blog, because I will indeed read it and get a good laugh. It is nice to see what is going in the lives of those related to me. Beautiful new baby girl too. Congrats!!!

Anonymous said...

Having your stomach touched by a stranger was offensive, true. But making fun of people who have no teeth and people with "six runny nosed children", is not a very nice thing to do either. Perhaps the waitress couldn't help the clothes she wore or the way she looked. Perhaps she was working at the waffle house at "50 plus" to support a family. Perhaps that ACDC shirt was the only thing those children had to wear. So sad that you were so quick to tell that story and get a laugh at the expense of others...and at Christmastime. You should judge less.